Is it OK if my mom calls me names?

Is it OK if My Mom Calls Me Names?

When it comes to parents calling their children negative names, it’s common to feel confused, sad, or even angry. As much as we love our moms, their words can really hurt us. In fact, a study by [source] found that most kids are emotionally affected by their parent’s words, and consistently receiving negative feedback can shape our self-esteem and psychological well-being.

Consequences of Name-Calling

Here are some consequences of name-calling that parents, educators, and trusted adults should be aware of:

• Loss of self-control: Constant criticism and belittling can lead to feelings of worthlessness, depression, and increased stress levels.
• Difficulty in forming trusting relationships: When we regularly experience name-calling, we are less likely to form authentic relationships in the future.

The Bible’s perspective

Why does a Bible say about name-calling?

The Holy Scriptures explicitly condemn name-calling in multiple instances. For instance, in Matthew 5:22, Matthew 7:9-10, and James 5:9-20, Jesus and other influential biblical figures warn against using foul languages or labeling others with disrespectful words. Similarly, in Philemon 1-4, Paul encourages affection, love, and treating others with respect.

Key Bible passages:

| Bible Verses |
| Matthew 5:22 and James 5:9-20
Matthew 7:9-10 |

Cognitive Mistake

Why do we fall prey to name-calling, even when we think we’re right?
Dr. David, professor at the University of Oregon, says, "when we call somebody by an incorrect name, it results from a cognitive mistake. In our minds, one social group gets mixed-up with another." This makes sense when we consider siblings who are often called others’ names, especially brothers’ or sisters’ with a similar name.

Parenting Tips

Let’s discuss some parenting recommendations on how to handle yourself in these situations:

• Stay calm & assertive: Speak respectfully and slowly, avoiding reactions. When you feel heated, pause and take 3-5 deep, controlled breaths.
  1 Ask for name & respect: Politely inquire about the name(s) used and request personal boundaries for respectful communication with them.

How your Mom calls you

Don’t take it personally,
Keep a journal,
Create distance.

Why she might be doing it…

Here are some why parents call their children unkind names:

• Frustration – Parental stress; their feelings are not in line with their actions to solve problems.
• Confusion – Lacking patience, they address one child as another from different families.
• ‘Impulse **- Reaction without considering the impact.

Let’s focus on empowering both you and your MOM.
It’s essential NOT TO BLAME YOUR
Self. You are perfect.